Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage
Miscarriage is a very common problem for childbearing women to experience and they find themselves trying to conceive after miscarriage. However, that doesn’t make it any easier, either physically or emotionally. In fact, for some couples, miscarriage has almost the same emotional impact as if they lost a fully viable child or experienced a stillbirth. There is a recovery period that is needed before they can move on. Despite this, if you have miscarried, you will probably want to try to conceive again. What are the concerns and considerations and how do you address those in a safe way?
The first thing that will probably come into play is your emotional health. If you had a lot of excitement and anticipation about your prior pregnancy, only to lose it prematurely, there are a lot of mixed emotions that go into trying to conceive after miscarriage. You may be apprehensive to try again, fearing that the same thing will happen the second time. It’s also possible that your partner isn’t experiencing the same emotions that you are surrounding the loss of your baby. Because a new pregnancy isn’t as real and personal to the father, they often don’t react as strongly as you do.
That is completely normal. It can help to get on the same page and help him to understand where you are coming from in order to prepare for a new pregnancy. You also may want to speak to other women who have been through the same thing, or a counselor that you feel can help you process the emotions and move to a more prepared place.
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Your body has just gone through the process of preparing for, welcoming, and growing a new life. Even though the pregnancy didn’t stay viable, you need time to heal and strengthen. While some women become pregnant directly after a miscarriage, it isn’t recommended. Most doctors advise that you wait until you have had at least two to three normal menstrual cycles, if everything else is normal. For those that have a history of miscarriage or a medical reason, trying to conceive after miscarriage should be delayed longer- sometimes up to six months. This can very difficult if you desperately want a child. However, focus your energy and use this time to pay extra attention to your nutrition and physical health, preparing your body for the best possible chances of success.
Will it Happen Again?
For most women, the fear of trying to conceive after miscarriage is that it will happen again. After all, if you have miscarried once, doesn’t that mean that you have a propensity for the problem? Luckily, you can rest assured that isn’t the case, especially if your miscarriage occurred during your first trimester. First trimester miscarriages are usually due to genetic anomalies that were present in the fetus. You have exactly the same statistical chances of miscarrying the second time as you did the first. If you miscarried during your second trimester, your odds are slightly increased, but it is still more likely that you will carry a subsequent pregnancy to term.
If you lost your baby due to an ectopic pregnancy, you may want to begin monitoring early in the process; however, as soon as normal implantation is verified, you should be just fine.
Making the Decision
The hardest part of trying to conceive after miscarriage is making the decision. This should be done thoughtfully and as a team. If you were under the care of a doctor of midwife during your miscarriage, feel free to discuss the different concerns with your healthcare provider. If it is suspected that there may have been an underlying reason for the initial miscarriage, ask for testing to determine what happened. This can give you peace of mind as you start the process again.
Dealing with Family and Friends
It is completely normal to feel apprehensive and a bit superstitious about trying to conceive after a miscarriage. If you do not want to share your good news with family and friends until after things are more settled, don’t feel bad about it. While dealing with a loss is hard enough, having to talk about it with everyone that asks about your pregnancy can make it even more difficult to cope with. In addition, you may want to save celebrations until your baby arrives, for much the same reason.
Finally, allow yourself the time to grieve. You may be surprised when the emotions surrounding your miscarriage come up, but don’t feel alarmed. Even as your new baby is born, you may feel a twinge of remembrance for their lost sibling and that is perfectly normal and healthy.